Disco D's Crazy Playhouse of Doom

Not sure why I decided to come back to this, c'est la vie.

Today I start what could be a very hard process.

But I also start pre-production. Life is all about the good and the bad, and I truly have a lot of good going on.

Not much else to say.

Thank you.

How do I phrase this with out sounding really bitchy. I guess I will say that it is a good show, but the making of it for me is terrible. I am just not having fun, I just don't feel like I fit in...its hard that so many conservatory people are in it, and its not the people its the ideal. I never finished and I always feel when I'm around people who did I feel that a part of them thinks I don't deserve to be there. And whoop now I am back in highschool. Having to prove I deserve to be there as much anyone else. I don't want to do that anymore...and you know maybe thats just my insecuritys doing that to me. I don't know i also am a much different actor than everyone there, can't explain why just am.

And then when I'm at my other rehearsal I feel apart of something. Part of that though is everyone there is glad the other person is there cause if they weren't we might not be able to do this show. I feel creative and apart of something that will be powerful when finished. I guess its nice being appreciated rather a set piece who talks every so often. I just don't feel apart of the other show and I never thught in my life I would ever phone is a performance...but I really am. Still though it will be a good show...I just feel I'm loosing apart of myself, and not in the good way, to this show...

I realized just now...I don't really have a place to write down my thoughts anymore...

just so everyone knows...Pop Tart's Go Tarts are very big fig newtons...not pop tarts...it made me sad...

I guess I could update my life...but nothing huge is going on...

got promoted...more money=good

acting sorta...although a bit sick of brown bag and decided no matter how good it can be...I can;t stand the flakeyness and it rubs off on me...and I'm not a big fan of the flake...

Movies are fun...watching and making them...hopefully my movie will be done within the next week or two...and hopefully we'll find a lead actor for manny's movie so we can make that...also...anyone at foothill know when the New Acts or the one with the playwriting classes plays is auditioning?

I talked way too much in this more than i like to...but I figured...ok I forgot what I figured...I'm leaving bye!

So I couldn't resist, and decided to do this while listening to music...

Playlist Prophecies:
Go to your iTunes playlist and put it all on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and after each one press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
When a man Loves a woman – Percy Sledge


2. Will I have a happy life?
Wizards in Winter – Trans-Siberian Orchestra


3. What do my friends really think of me?
Vertigo – U2


4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Don’t Hate Me – Nerf Herder


5. What does [insert significant other] think of me?
Living in the Past – Jethro Tull


6. How can I make myself happiest?
There goes my baby – smokey joe’s cafe


7. What should I do with my life?
Be My Escape – Relient K


8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Ryu’s Theme From Street Fighter 2


9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Revolution - Beatles


10. Will I ever have children?
Dead Puppies – Stephen Lynch


11. Will I die happy?
Desperado Theme – Gypsy Kings


12. Can you give me some good advice?
Living on a Prayer – Bon Jovi


13. Do you know where your children are?
Mama Said Knock You Out – LL Cool J


14. What do you think happiness is?
Pain – Jimmy Eat World

i don't seem to use this much...hmmmm...maybe i should...hmmm

So no more me and jenna...its cool tho...I think...at least we talk and talking is groovy. Other than that I'm uh...in school? And yea...I finished my movie yay! The Simple Truth will be soon a movie...I just need a lead actress...any who may be interested let me know...I'm not directing my friend Manuel is so yay! Other than that nothing new...I am off to something or other...

i'm updating...me and jenna re fine...it was a rough spot...but its all good...i love her...anywho...heres an update...weeeee....

for lack of anything else heres what i got for x-mas:

The Mummy Trilogy
Batman Anthology
Classic Film Noir vol2
Son of a Witch: the Sequal to Wicked
Lots O' Chocolate
Eddie Guerrero: Cheatin' Death, Stealin' Life
Fantastic Four
A Nifty Scarf
A Awesomne Looking Journal
and a new Razor Phone..

good stuff...later yall

I don't even know where to begin...

I feel like my life has collapsed...yet it really hasn't...

I love her...its plain and simple for me...I realized how much I may have fucked up in my life...even with her...and I hate that I do this...

To spite what others may say...I'm not good with words...I don't know what to say...especially when I have a lot of emotion behind everything...which is maybe why I'm posting here so I can see what it looks like. I once again...some how...some way...have fucked the best part of my life up...all i could do last night was cry and keep saying i needed her....yes...things are kinda patched right now...but not as well as they could be...

yes i messed up over the summer...but i learned...and anyone who has seen me...or known me...knows that my eye wanders...I don't anymore...I can't...its physically impossible for me to bring myself to do anything that would make me loose her...I can't hurt her...its a promise I made myself a bit ago...so far...i was doing ok...I"m human...but its no excuse...I should be everything she wants..and I'm not...i'm a miserable fuck up..she probably has every right to leave me...to find some one better...but...I don't want to loose her...

These past months have been the most stable in my life...mentally...i have had a few trips here and there...but over all...i have been amazing...and i thank her for it...yes.. i have a lot of work to do...but I'm willing to do it...

Last night i was asked...what will happen if she takes you back? Will you think that it will ahppen again...what will you do....my only answer was...if i get her back...then i don't care...she means so much to me...and...it hurts that i can't take care of her...or if i even mean anything to her now...

I have changed...for the better...anyone who knows me can see that...this is the best place i have been in my whole life...i dont want it to end...

I want to be there for her...be what she needs...i wish i could say the right things...or do the right things to make her realize how much she means to me...

I wish i could make her trust me again....i don't know how....i don;t know how to erase what i did...if i could i would...to me...in my head they never really happened...i don't know why...i know they did...but i don't...they mean nothing...and will never mean anything to me...she is the only thing that means anything to me...and thats how it always has been....

I could never hurt her...yet i did...I failed...and i truely...truely...hate myself for it...i will hate myself in some way forever...for what i did...and how it cost me her....or did it...i don't know anymore...all i want to do is lie in bed...and never move...im ashamed of myself...who i am...what i am...that i have failed her soo many times...i hate myself...

But i will change...medication is needed again for me...for many reasons...and license....those are two of my prioritys...i just wish she was here to help me with both...but even if not...i need them...and i will have them soon...

I LOVE HER. period dot end of story...I love her...thats all...

I don't know if she will read this...either way i needed to put my thoughts down

discod is love
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Your results:
You are Batman

Batman 100% Hulk 50% Robin 50% Green Lantern 50% Superman 40% Supergirl 40% Wonder Woman 35% The Flash 35% Catwoman 25% Spider-Man 20% Iron Man 15%

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Perhaps the most alienated of all the clans, Clan
Malkavian's mention makes the blood of most
vampires run just a little colder. Some say the
clan to be the keepers of secrets older and
more terrible than any but they could imagine.
This is reinforced by their thorough command of
the powers of perception. They can see things
few others can, from the physically unseen to
the twisted depths of the subconcious mind
right up to the wrinkles in fate that might be
more than just chance. But obscuring, or some
might say causing, all of this is the madness
that runs in their cold veins, twisting the
minds of all the clan's members to frayed
wrecks of sanity. Or perhaps just thrusting
them, thrashing and screaming, into a whole new
level of horrible awareness.


Which Vampire: The Masquerade clan do you belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Leave your name and I'll...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST.

...come one...come all...weee

i got a kittie...her name is samantha...that is all

Click here.
Take the quiz.
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all this proves is I know jack shit about people...cause I suck...other than that...life is good...i work at blockbuster...and i kick ass cause I'm a winner...anywho...have a nice day everyone!

Well I seem to be updating here cause...well...not much else to do...

Life is generally good...everything personal for once is doing good...which is odd for anyone who knows me...I find myself falling more and more for Jenna everyday...and the nest part is...she is in the same place as me...so yea...its gravy.

I recently did this "ask me a question and I'll answer truthfully" thing...it was humerous...only cause when all is said and done...all people want to know about is sex...believe me...when you have that candid of a space and a person who really will answer anything...you can't help but just wonder what they have done sexually...I also came to this conclusion cause I got a lot of "Are you a Virgin?" and "How Many People Have You Slept With?" type questions...and I found myself even wondering the same things when they re-posted the damn thing...I guess its human nature in many ways...and maybe not everyone is like that...but a very good percentage are...the rest of the population...well they are better off not wondering these things...but really should any of this be a surprize to me? I mean growing up you have god knows how many games to find your sexual revolution or awakening of some sorts (Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, Seven Minute in Heaven, etc. etc.) and then once that happens you have all these games that ask you to devulge(sp?) what you have learned from these other games (I Have Never, Ten or Five Fingers, and other stuff)...and I find that many of us who should be past all this still play these juvenile games...cause I guess at the core...everything in our generation is sex...even in the most innocent of things...they seem to have some sex appeal...it makes me wonder how many of us will be when we are parents and how our kids will grow up...what will the world be like...

anywho...many of this is probably obvious...but its what? almost 1 in the morning...and this is what consumes my mind...this or how I just phone in most anything that has to do with acting...I find myself motivated...yet not motivated enough to tackle what is in front of me with all my heart...but that my kids...is another story for another day...

1. Post the names of 20 musicians.
2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, edit in the song

1. Weezer
2. Reel Big Fish
3. Misfits
4. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
5. Green Day
6. Bad Religion
7. Jethro Tull
8. The Beatles
9. Relient K
10. Frank Sinatra
11. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
12. Godsmack
13. Stephen Lynch
14. Ray Charles
15. Cream
16. The Eagles
17. Dream Theater
18. Breaking Benjamin
19. Alkaline Trio
20. Bloodhound Gang

...good luck

a. Pick a dozen movies that you have special feelings about.
b. Pick a few lines of dialogue.
c. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.


1. “she took his picture. DAMN. She took his picture. She took his picture.”

2. “You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that’s what ya did!”

3. “I want my father back, you son of bitch.”

4. “When it comes to consoling 19-year-old girls, I'm about as useful as a palsy patient performing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.”

5. “Empty. The opposite of full. This case is supposed to be full! Anyone care to explain?”

6. “You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.”

7. “Shut up, I'm having a rhetorical conversation.”

8. “You a gambling man santy?”

9. “Wars not make one great.”

10. “First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?”

11. “Person 1: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother." "Person 2: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.”

12. “Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?”